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| I have a close friend who just found out that his Grandfather has stage 4 liver and stomach cancer. Realistically, his chance of survival doesn't look good. I lost my both of my grandfathers to cancer; one before I was born, and the other in 2004, after I moved to Illinois. I lived close enough to my grandpa to go visit him pretty often during his last months. I loved him very much, and I know that he loved all of his grand children more than we probably will ever know. Anyway, I'm kind of getting off track.
I was graduating from SIU with a masters degree in August of 2004 and had a pretty good job lined up in Portland, Oregon. I had always wanted to live out there and had a good friend that was there at that time. I desperately wanted to get away from Carbondale and I the thought of starting something new was exciting to me. Two months before graduation, my grandfather was diagnosed with Cancer. At first the prognosis was good, it looked like he was going to live for a good while longer. Because of that I decided to turn down the job in Portland and stay nearby. I thought it was the right thing to do to be with my family and see my grandpa as much as possible over the next several months while he was going through radiation and chemo. We all believed that he was going to recover and live quite a while longer but we knew it would be a long road - and I know that Portland would still be there after everything was done.
I finished all of my writing for my thesis at the end of June and took a Job in Carbondale as a "temporary" measure until grandpa got better and I could move on.
Grandpa passed away on August 1, 2004.
Now, because almost my entire family is Christian, we all knew his fate in the next life. I believe that he's watching over us now and there are some days that I can't wait to get there myself to tell him how much I've missed him. But his death left me asking "Why" for several reaons. The biggest one was that I felt like I gave up everything to stay behind to be with my family and to be with him and share the time that he had left. But that time was taken from me, I was angry about that for a long time. Don't worry, I'm getting to my point here.
As I said, grandpa passed away on August 1st, and if it had not been for his cancer I would have been in Oregon by then, instead of still living in Carbondale and working a job I hated. Two weeks after his death, I met a person through my Church in Carbondale that would end being the friend that I think has most impacted my life for the better. That friendship eventually lead to me moving to Moline and finally finding my place and the calling that God has for me. It is a single friendship that God used to change my life forever, and if it had not been for my grandpa's illness, our paths would never have crossed.
I don't believe that God causes sickness, I know that it's a result of living in a sin filled and fallen world. My grandpa's illness was not because God did it to him and after 81 years on earth, most of it serving what he believed to be a loving Savior, grandpa is home and I know that I'll see him again someday. I also know that in his divine wisdom, God took that one tragic event in my life and used it for good and for that I am thankful.
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| Since I don't update this thing anymore and I don't really look at it, I think I'm going to close the site down. It's been fun, by everyone that I talk to on here is on Facebook now so I keep in touch that way.
Jeff
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| I don't update Xanga much anymore. I've switched to using facebook as my primary page for almost everything. If any of you are on there, look me up and add me as a friend. You'll hear a lot more out of me that way.
As of January 2009 I will be the director of Chi Alpha Campus Ministries for Augustana Colllege in Rock Island, Illinois. If you've ever been interested in college student ministry, shoot me a message and we'll talk. This first semester we're trying to build a leadership team. We especially need people who can play instruments and sing so that we can start doing worship sets. If you want more info please shoot me an email at our current group mailbox: XAQuadCities (at) gmail.com.
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| 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Now go back and replace the word "Love" with your name. How far down this list do you get before it becomes a lie? | | |
| As of yesterday, I have lost over 50lbs since I started trying in March of 2007.
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